As the world watches for white smoke to billow from the Vatican’s Sistine Chapel chimney — the traditional signal that a new Pope has been elected — the HOT 102.7FM Drive team decided to throw a bit of South African spice into the sacred mix.

According to tradition, black smoke rising from the chimney means no Pope has been chosen, while white smoke confirms that the College of Cardinals has made its decision. It’s a centuries-old ritual steeped in symbolism… but what if the next Pope hailed from Durban?

That’s exactly the question the Drive team asked — with hilarious results.

In Patrick’s best attempt at a Kwazulu-Natal accent, he imagined what a press conference might sound like if South Africa’s very own Cardinal Wilfrid Napier, born in Durban and the country’s most prominent papal contender in recent history, were elected to lead the Catholic Church.

The result? Bok Fridays at the Vatican, koeksister Sundays, and a Golf GTI for the cardinals (with extra rims and an upgraded sound system, naturally). And yes — DJ Black Coffee is allegedly part of the plan too.

It’s a light-hearted take on a solemn global event, delivered with affection and humour. While the actual voting process is carried out in strict secrecy by cardinals from across the globe, this skit reminds us to have a laugh — even when serious decisions are being made.